You got engaged. Congratulations! I know it’s a joyful time and of course, you are a little stressed and overwhelmed with all the planning looming on the horizon. The inspiration for this article came from a recent “The Ring The Bling And All The Things” Wedding Wednesday podcast episode. Should you use Friendors (the “F” word) when planning possibly one of the biggest days of your life? What is a Friendor you ask? It is a friend or a family member that you ask (or hire) to take the place of a wedding professional to participate in the planning or execution of events for your wedding. The whole point of the podcast and now this article is to point out that just because you're hiring your friend or family does not mean you will save money.

When it comes to weddings, THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS! By the end of this article, I promise that you will discover a great wedding planner will bring an “A” wedding team of expert vendors to get you down the aisle and to the altar with all your friendships and family relationships intact.

Please do not make the mistake so many brides have admitted to (after the wedding) that they wish they would have hired a wedding planner and other professional vendors. And please don’t underestimate the time it takes to design and coordinate your wedding. Beyond helping reduce your stress levels and easing your mind leading up to the big day, a certified wedding planner and licensed and insured vendors will ensure you are present at each moment on your wedding day and enjoying it as if you were a guest.

Your wedding day is not a day you want to gamble with, and it is not a day for someone who's doing something for the very first time! Helpful do-gooders think that it's as easy just making a timeline or putting together a centerpiece or baking a cake. I understand that people have good intentions, and they want to chip in and help in some way, but your wedding day is one that should be left for the experts to plan and hiring a wedding planner and professional vendors will be the best investment you can make.

Another important thing to consider when you're dealing with wedding professionals, you usually have a contract, protecting you when the cake collapses, the flowers are wilted, or the DJ’s equipment doesn’t work. Professionals in the industry as well as your wedding planner will ensure it is set right before the event and in most cases, you won’t even know the incident occurred. But if Aunt Betty made that now collapsing cake, you have no recourse. If your bridal party made all the centerpieces that look lifeless on your extravagant tables, do you have time to get more flowers and re-make everything? And if your cousin who DJ’s sometimes on the side has an equipment malfunction, what is your back-up plan? Do you even want all this stress on the biggest day of your life?

Additional considerations are timelines. I don’t think people understand what goes into planning a timeline of a wedding day. There is so much more to it than when the bride is going to walk down the aisle and when the cake will be cut. There is coordinating vendor deliveries and clean up at the end of the night - all of which must be timed. This part resembles that of a circus ring master, you need to watch all three of your rings at the same time to know what's going on. These stresses, these decisions cannot fall on you while you’re with your wedding party in hair and make-up! Set the scene... Your mother runs in frantically saying the caterer brought pork and he was supposed to bring roast beef. What do you want me to do? Your sister is bursting in the door next saying Aunt Betty dropped the floral centerpieces and now we don't have any centerpieces for our tables. What do you want me to do? Or it’s the end of your great evening and the troop of family members who offered to stay and help clean up got a little too tipsy and have vanished... now you and your newly betrothed are stuck cleaning up! This would never be the case if wedding pros were involved in your day.

And my final tip! Don’t have the misconception that you will save money either by running to several different department stores to purchase vases and votive holders to then run to several more stores to find the florals and candles and then have to assemble everything , deliver it, set-up it all up and finally pack it all up at the end of the night! Whew! I’m exhausted just typing that, but you get the picture?!

Aren’t sure how to tell these happy do-gooders no but thank you? One of the things you can bring up when you're talking about this “F” word and you're “A” team is this: Most venues require licensed and insured professionals because it reflects poorly on them if something goes awry. Venues also do not want the liability of food that is prepared by an unlicensed person in a noncommercial kitchen. Because if you can't sue the person who made the food or cake since you got sick, you're going to sue that venue. You can also explain to the helpful friends and family that you prefer them to participate in and enjoy the day with you!

Give yourself the absolute best chance in the world of that wedding going off flawlessly by hiring professionals...so when something happens (because it will), you've got a team behind you that can make the hard decisions, pivot, and transition to correct whatever problems that arise.

Tammie Miller,

The Ring The Bling And All The Things

Podcast Integrator & Production Assistant

Visit https://www.theringtheblingandallthethings.com/the-f-word-the-a-team/ for the podcast episode that inspired this article.