The Jewish Wedding Rabbi - 10 Tips Guide for Destination Weddings

Photo Credit: Brian Reid, Associate photographer for DelConte Photography

When you have traveled to many destination weddings and officiated ceremonies you learn an array of information.  Mostly, how quickly a wedding day timetable can change up to two days before and or on the actual wedding day.  It could be the weather, an airline delay, a forgotten bridesmaid dress and other important elements.  A couple can plan everything well in advance, but once the week of their wedding arrives, that is when plans can suddenly change.

The dream to have a beachside wedding with the white sandy beaches is no longer a dream, it’s a reality.  Dreams really do come true.  With many wedding venues, a beachside wedding ceremony can take place locally and on an island.  The crystal blue water indeed glitters in the background.  The setting of the sun creates an intimate setting.

1. Officiant: Usually venues have a list of officiants to recommend, but is there a Rabbi available?  If not, couples will need to secure their ceremony officiant in the city which they live and plan to provide travel and lodging accommodations.  This will need to be added to the budget.  A benefit to having a local officiant is that you can connect with them and discuss the pre-planning ceremony details. Online technology does give you access to FaceTime which offers the benefit to meet your officiant located near your venue. It will reduce the extra costs, but remember, you will be meeting that officiant in person a day or two before your wedding day.  If you are comfortable with those arrangements, then all is good.  Remember, it is very important you have a good rapport with your officiant.

   Note: Destination Weddings are no longer the ones that are reachable by airline and shuttle services. If the wedding location is within a 2 – 6-hour drive, do not assume that the officiant will travel by car in one day to preside over their ceremony.  Make appropriate accommodations in your budget to include hotel and travel for the officiant.

2. Wedding Planner

   Destination wedding venues will often have a wedding liaison on the premises.  Wedding couples believe that the liaison is assigned to take care of every detail leading up to and on their wedding day.  Always check what services are included.  Remember, this liaison works for the venue.  Will they oversee all the vendors, the timelines, the arrival, departures, clean up and everything in-between? A wedding planner will do just that for each couple.  A planner takes care of all the details assuring a wedding couple to truly be brides and grooms on their wedding day.

3. Plan B

   A wedding couple cannot plan the weather.  Always have a Plan B in place.  Find out if the Chuppah Canopy can be moved from the outdoors to the indoors or have a Plan B, second Chuppah in place. A beach four corner freestanding Chuppah Canopy will be buried in the sand.  The staff at the resort begins this process early in the afternoon.  The same staff also adds planks of wood covered with sand.  It creates a solid surface for guests to walk to their seats and the wedding party to the Chuppah.  This does make it difficult to move it indoors.  If only one chuppah structure is available, request it to be on the sand in case it needs to be moved indoors. A hand-held Chuppah can be made available upon request when coordinating with the hired florist. The backup Chuppah could be put together the week of a couple's wedding. Discuss all the details in advance and if there is an additional cost to moving the outdoor ceremony indoors. Beachside wedding ceremonies with water will add the element of wind.  Take that into consideration when choosing the proper Chuppah structure.  Request how it can be secure in case those wind gusts suddenly arrive.

4. Airline Travel

   If your destination wedding requires air travel, the first flight out is the best option. If there are any delays, the flights will eventually fly out that same day.  If advance wedding forecasts make you feel uneasy, have your key family members, wedding party and officiant fly out a day or two earlier.  When planning a destination wedding that does require air travel, the extra costs should be discussed in advance.

5. Transportation for your Guests

   The transportation company provides you a service, to transport your guests.  However, the chance that the driver will get lost, arrive late is a strong possibility.  Ceremonies will begin late when the guests have not arrived.  Create a realistic timeline for guests to arrive to cover for any possible problems that could occur.  When hiring a Wedding Planner, they will have a team that can assist with the transportation logistics and ensures it goes smooth.

6. Wedding Elements

   Assign a specific space in your home or office for all the wedding ceremony elements and ritual items.  Organize the items by category: Ceremony; Cocktail Hour; Reception. Create a checklist of all the items to collect at the end of the wedding day. Wedding Ceremony treasured items tend to be picked up later on. Reverse that habit and collect them soon after. Placing them around the wedding couple’s table or nearby to the wedding cake is a good plan.  For Jewish Wedding Ceremonies, pay close attention to collecting the Breaking Glass in the pull string bag.  Most wedding couples are saving them as a symbolic keepsake.

   Photo Credit: Brian Reid, Associate photographer for DelConte Photography

7. Wedding Attire Mishaps

   Always pack an emergency kit.  To name a few items:  sewing kit, mending tape, glue, safety pins, laundry detergent, stain solution, liquid band-aids.  If a mishap happens, you are prepared. Always pack a First Aid Kit before you travel with all the items that could assist you if you become sick even if it is minor. Headaches, sour stomachs, cuts, bruises, minor sprains. Over the counter products will keep you calm when you have it on hand. The items you choose are the ones you trust because you may have had to use them in the past. Don't forget to purchase bottled water at the local market.

8. Ketubah Necessities

   A ketubah needs to be protected once it is unrolled and out of its protected case. The size of your ketubah will determine all you need to pack to protect it.   A ketubah artist may have a plastic envelope for the Ketubah to be inserted and protected on your wedding day.  It is usually a thicker weight type plastic envelope.

   Note: Your Ketubah will be displayed during your wedding ceremony.  If you want it to look nice in your ceremony photos, plan what is needed to frame it for presentation.

   When traveling by car, a ketubah can be pre-framed as long as there is no glass.  Best to have a plexi-type of fake glass or an acetate covering.  Apply cardboard on each side of the frames to ensure it does not get damaged.

   For beachside wedding ceremonies, there is a Canvas Ketubah that is treated.  This material and the treatment makes handling it with no worries.  The treatment protects it from sand and the ocean water mist.  Color matching binder clips and a solid backing will be needed for displaying it during the wedding ceremony.

   Ribbon and or fishing wire offers an extra security element.  A gust of wind can make a Ketubah fall to the ground.   Pack ribbon, fishing wire or white rope along with a roll of duct tape. It will secure it onto the weighted easel that will display it during the ceremony.

10. Wedding and Travel Insurance

    Wedding Insurance does exist and can assist when non-refundable deposits are required, and the wedding service company suddenly closes without notice. A catering company can suddenly vanish leaving couples without food.   A bridal gown shop suddenly closes, and a bride is without her dress. Wedding insurance can certainly offer that peace of mind for wedding couples.

    Travel Insurance can be purchased when you make reservations, and anytime before you travel. Most travel related company policies are limited. Travel experts advise to assess your risks when deciding to purchase travel insurance.

11. Safety at your Destinations

    When you hotel does not offer an in-room safe, you now have other options. I am not a spokesperson for these products, but they certainly provide that peace of mind. Review products, Aquavault and Flexsafe. They protect your personal items that you can leave in your hotel room or when you are enjoying leisure time activities with your guests. No longer leaving your smartphones unattended or other items you need with you like a credit card, cash, room key and other items. Enjoy socializing with your guests and without the worry.

 

 Jewish Wedding Rabbi - Rabbi Andrea Frank

Rabbi Andreas Frank is not only an Ordained Reform Rabbi but a Teaching Rabbi as well.  She holds a Master of Theology Th. M., and is affiliated with the Congregation L'Dor V'Dor, Reform, and is an active member of the Association of Bridal Consultant, League of Woman Clergy, Interfaith Family, American Association of Wedding Officiants.  Rabbi Andrea is Registered & Authorized to sign New York State marriage Licenses via Office of the City Clerk of The City of New York.